Thought Process

The last few weeks I have had time to review my life and wonder in what direction to take as I turn a corner in my destiny.

I have spent hours trying to decide in which direction to go .Since I can remember I always took the path less traveled.  Since I was a kid, I always sided with the underdog, it always got me into trouble. That is why I am sitting in jail now.

Even my parents called me trouble from an early age. I really tried to be normal, but it was so hard for me to stay focused in school or any job that I applied for. Eventually they would fire me saying I just was not suitable for the position. One job I kept for a whole month, I think they felt sorry for me or just desperate at the time to fill the space. It was as if I was on a treadmill trying to stay on but always falling off. 

My thought process changed after my last job, I started to look around and see what would benefit me, not them. I started slowly pilfering small amounts of money, then walking home handing out what I had stolen to the less fortunate. I was loved in my neighborhoods everyone had a wave as I passed. This went on for over a year with many jobs in-between from cleaning houses to working in department stores but would finally get caught taking something that did not belong to me. I would never admit to any theft and was never charged.

I hit the big time when Brinks hired me to count money in their dungeon of what they called an office.  Cameras everywhere even in the washrooms. I sat at a table with bags stacked high with a machine automatically sucking and counting, putting them in piles, thousands of bills that went through all day. I loved the feeling of touching it and of the power, I felt surrounded by all the color of the bills. I felt exhilarated for eight hours when I was there.

 
My brain started to burn with all the possibilities that I had in front on me. However, knowing my record of accomplishment, I had to devise a system quickly to get as much out of there in a matter of days. Going home, I sewed expandable pockets into my skirts. My boss was a pudgy bald man in his fifties; he was overweight and swallowed a doughnut in one bite. I brought him big homemade cookies every day and was his friend for life.

I started my day off feeling very confident that I could beat their system. After lunch, pudgy always stayed in his office and had a nap. I had moved my chair closer to the air conditioner knowing I was on the edge of the camera. The other girls really did not talk much through the day. I was not the chitchat type anyways. On a trial run I accidentally dropped a pile of bills making a big deal, saying sorry and continued to put the money into the machine,  when pudgy looked up winked and closed his eyes again. One pile stayed on the floor, as I slowly slipped them into my boot. Back to counting, then left to go to the washroom, closing the door as I slipped the pile into my pockets with my back to the camera. Easy, so I thought.

I looked forward to going to work daily, the thrill of getting more brazen every time. I had started out with small amounts, it only took a few days before my boots were filled and I was deciding whether to get a larger size boot. Every time I headed to the washroom, my spirits rose and the excitement of it all was overwhelming. Only one glitch happened as I was stuffing the money into my pocket on the second day, a bill fell to the floor. Dropping my purse over it quickly, trying to do so making it look natural for the cameras, I scooped it up as I went back to work.

This went on for another week. They were very slack and did not seem to notice any money missing, I had hit the jackpot. Feeling jubilant and so were the homeless along my route home. Arriving to work the second week, which was a miracle in itself. I knew something was very wrong, as Pudgy had a sad look on his face telling us money was missing. The books did not balance with the cash that was entered. The discrepancy was over five thousand dollars. My thought was did I really get that much in such a short time.

The police were there to question us all. They could not know who it was as I was careful around the cameras and knew exactly the places they were situated.  They questioned us all separately so I knew I was not the only suspect. I would just cool it for a few days and then carry on.

They asked me being the newest one hired, if I had seen anything irregular amongst the others and said no, and told them I was shocked to think I was working with a thief. That was when they showed me the video of me dropping the money on the floor and slipping it into my boots. The sneaky bastards had a pinhole camera mounted under my table. Pudgy looked very sad as they took me away in handcuffs. I wondered if he was sad because he would not be getting any more cookies.

 

I was charged with theft over five hundred dollars, I pleaded guilty because of the video. The judge asked me where the money was and if I returned it, he would consider that with my sentencing.  I told him what I had done with the money and so they pegged me with the name Robin Hood’s helper in the newspaper.

As I said, I had been renewing my life as I have only two more weeks inside and have to decide what journey I will be taking when I get out. Jail was not as bad as I had been led to believe. I finally had made a few friends and we plan to get together and brain-storm when released.

I honestly do not think I will ever lead a normal life.